Wedding Vow Tips

Here are some top tips for writing—and delivering—your own wedding vows.

Don't wait until the last minute

Plan to have your vows written three weeks (at least) before your wedding. Trust me: You'll be thankful for the rehearsal when those wedding-day jitters kick in.

Make it Your Own

At the end of the day, remember that your vows are your personal promises to your partner. Feel free to get creative and think about the values that you and your partner share. And remember that the words you choose will mean so much to them.

Make a list of all your thoughts

Jot down all the things that come to mind about your spouse or marriage. Revisit these notes later and highlight your favourite items to be the starting points for your vows.

Write up to three drafts

Take a few days—even a week—to give yourself and your vows some space. Go back and reread them up to three times but try to stop there. Continuously rewriting has its own challenges.

Don't try to include everything

It's understandable to want to fit everything you're feeling into your vows—but in reality, you just can't include it all.

Avoid words like "always" and "never"

This kind of absolute language is all but impossible to live up to. It's not always going to be easy, so don't promise perfection.

Embrace sentimentality

This isn't the time to worry about being corny or cheesy. If the words are heartfelt, then they're not cheesy. I've never heard vows that made me roll my eyes.

Go after laughter

The ability to make your significant other smile and even laugh out loud during your ceremony will serve you well in your marriage.

Get inspired by books, songs, movies, and poems

If you have a favourite line from a movie or song that expresses your feelings, use it as a starting point. And don't discount children's books or media as they often have a way of communicating deep, complex emotions in simple sentences.

Practice reading out loud

The only way to make sure everything sounds perfect is to hear it out. Reading your vows out loud will help you catch spots where the grammar might be iffy or where you’re missing a word as well as figure out if the structure is cohesive.

Indicate pauses and intonation

You’ll want to allow time to laugh or tear up without interrupting your flow. For the best comprehension and emotional reactions, take it slow and focus on breaks, pauses, and intonation.

Ask a trusted friend to listen

A close friend who is a great sounding board (and a pro at keeping secrets) is an important ally to have. They can give you constructive criticism and help you improve your vows to make sure you really get that meaning across.

Send a copy of your vows to your Celebrant

Send a copy to Deana the Celebrant in plenty of time so she can read them and advise you both on the length and/or tone of each other’s vows in case they don’t quite match each other – without giving away any spoilers, so that you can make changes if you so wish. Once you are comfortable and have settled on your vows, Deana the Celebrant will print them and will have them ready to hand to you at the right moment on the day.

Keep the vows a secret from your partner until the ceremony

Your vows are a gift to one another, so don't share them ahead of time. It will make the ceremony all the more impactful and emotional if you're hearing them for the first time.